Tina developed a teenage crush on a teacher who was a controlling abuser
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Tina was groomed and abused by Roy, a married teacher at her school. She was a teenager at the time.
She developed a crush on him, which he encouraged. He was charming, and she says it seemed to be common knowledge among other staff that he liked to talk to the girls at the school.
Initially Roy ignored Tina and spoke more to the older girls, but then he told Tina that he liked her a lot.
He began to pay her compliments and would take her out in his car, sing love songs, hold her hand and kiss her.
On the return journey of a school outing, he parked the car and got Tina to touch him sexually. He did the same to her.
This moved on to other sexual abuse and rape. Tina recalls that he also took naked Polaroid pictures of her and, she believes, of other girls.
She says at first the attention from Roy made her feel that she was superior; someone different. Later she found a notebook which detailed names of other girls and women and the things Roy had done with them.
Roy told Tina’s parents that he was helping her to revise for her exams. After leaving school, Tina would see him every night. She said ‘sex became a real chore’.
He began talking to Tina about other girls, which she found very painful. She also says he was controlling, deciding which social events she could attend.
She felt she was leading a double life and she began to suffer from panic attacks, anxiety and other symptoms, including thoughts of harming her family.
At one point, Tina thought she may be pregnant and went to see her doctor.
She was seen by a locum doctor who she said touched her inappropriately during the examination. The medical notes in relation to this examination have gone missing.
Roy eventually left the school after the police received information about his conduct with other girls. He was interviewed but the matter did not proceed very far. Tina believes this led Roy to believe he was invincible.
Tina says the abuse made her feel she did not know who she was.
She feels her personality was destroyed by it and it has taken her a long time to establish her sense of self. She still suffers from anxiety and low self-esteem and has a fear of losing control.