At the approved school Tommy was sent to, abuse was used to keep children in line
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Tommy was sent to an approved school in the 1960s, enduring separation from his beloved siblings, and physical and sexual abuse. He was harshly punished when he tried to take solace in innocent pastimes.
Tommy grew up in a large family. He describes his father as very caring – he worked hard but always had time for his children.
His mother had alcohol problems and was very strict. She never told Tommy that she loved him and when he was injured or ill, she would punish him for causing a fuss.
There were 11 children in the family and Tommy was particularly close to two of his siblings. They slept together on a mattress, and they got into trouble together.
He says this happened one time too many and they were sent to different boarding schools where they all had a bad time.
Tommy was devastated to be separated from his siblings. They had been his life, he says, and he did not see them again for a few years.
At the approved school that Tommy was sent to, physical and mental abuse were rife, used as a way to keep everyone in line. He says sexual abuse also took place, but the children never discussed it for fear of a beating.
Tommy feels he wasn’t a bad lad, but he resented school and authority. He had dyslexia and struggled to settle into the new routine.
He loved being outside, studying nature, but he regularly got into trouble for collecting insects. He’d be told to strip and then caned.
Anyone who wet their bed would be forced to stand outside in their pants or wet pyjamas for an hour, whatever the weather.
One day Tommy was called to the back of the stage by one of the teachers, Mr Bruce. He sexually assaulted Tommy behind the curtains and Tommy vividly remembers the pain he felt.
Another teacher used to assault Tommy from behind.
He knew anyone who spoke out would be beaten by the older boys. He stopped eating and was force-fed by the staff and suffered from nightmares about it.
Tommy describes how desperate he felt. He wanted to see his parents, but they only visited every month or so. Tommy thought the world of his father and says his visits made such a difference to him.
He had no one to talk to apart from the school nurse, but she never questioned why Tommy, and so many other boys, were upset or injured. She just patched them up and sent them back.
Tommy feels sure she must have known something was happening, but she didn’t ask the right questions.
Tommy says he could always tell when another boy had been abused because they would sit and eat on their own and show a complete change to their personality.
When Tommy left the school he felt very insecure, but he was reunited with his brothers and they rekindled their friendship.
The boys would hang around in a park and go swimming. On one of these occasions, a stranger tried to sexually assault but Tommy escaped and ran to his brothers.
He says he felt brave for telling his brothers what had happened, but they never told their parents or the police.
When Tommy was older he met his partner. But most weekends he would find himself driving back to his former school and sitting outside, weeping. He eventually explained to his partner what had happened there.
When he went to a school reunion it brought back a lot of anger and he met others who had been abused too.
Tommy suffers from depression and has felt suicidal in the past. A few years ago, He started counselling and contacted the police, giving them the name of Mr Bruce.
He found this very difficult; he describes feeling frightened and almost guilty, as if he was the one who had done something wrong.
He was devastated when the police told him they had interviewed Mr Bruce, but he had denied any abuse. The police then closed the case.
Tommy and his wife have now become foster carers and, after a negative experience of supporting a child through disclosure, Tommy believes there should be more therapeutic support for children who have experienced trauma.
Tommy considers that police should investigate allegations more thoroughly and take allegations seriously, with more resources allocated to the police so they can prioritise child sexual abuse.
He also believes that social services should offer more support and supervision of children rather than accepting the word of parents and guardians.