Truda’s mum once said to her ‘Everything is your fault. You bring it all on yourself’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Truda suffered abuse and neglect from her mother and from a succession of her mother’s partners.
Her mother did not protect her, but always blamed her daughter when her relationships ended.
Truda was born in the 1990s. She did not know her dad and her mum lived with a man who already had children.
Her stepfather and mother were arrested for child cruelty. Her stepfather was given a custodial sentence and his children were taken into care. Her mother received a caution and soon after began a relationship with another man, Harry.
Harry raped Truda when she was about four years old. She remembers there being a lot of blood everywhere and that Harry had tied the door closed. Her mother came back to the house when he was abusing Truda.
She knows from her records that she and her sibling were on the child protection register. Her sibling was later removed from the family home but Truda was left with her mother and Harry.
Truda has seen a paediatrician’s report that documents significant internal injuries caused by her stepfather raping her. She has also read that her mother would bring her to a house where there were known Schedule One offenders – this means they were considered to be a risk to children.
At different times during her childhood, Truda was placed in foster care. She recalls being physically and emotionally abused by foster carers on several occasions.
During a time that Truda and her sibling were living back with their mother, Truda saw her sibling playing sexualised games with her dolls.
As an adult, Truda reported Harry to the police for raping her. A few years ago she gave evidence against him in court and he was sent to prison. However, the police have said that they cannot press any charges against her mother. Truda is challenging this decision and has recently given a video statement to the police about her mum’s neglect and cruelty.
Truda has no faith in authorities such as the police and social services. She finds it hard to trust people and feels very isolated.
She says there is a need for a lot more social workers who have ‘gone through the system … so they know what it means to be an abused child’. She would like to see a social worker in every school.
Truda says that when she read her social services records, she could not understand why ‘as a child I was left living in a war zone’. No one from social services tried to contact her paternal family members to see if anyone was willing and able to care for her.
This makes her feel sad and angry, and she wonders if she might have had a better childhood if more effort had been made to do this.