Virgil says ‘It was the cover-up that annoyed me the most’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Virgil was seriously sexually assaulted by a teacher, then told by the school principal the abuse had not happened.
He now feels more angry about this response than about the abuse itself.
Virgil grew up in the 1950s. When he was eight years old, he was sent to a Church of England cathedral school.
It was a day school, but lessons and extra-curricular activities took up many hours over seven days each week, and Virgil had to spend a lot of time away from his home and family. He describes his life as ‘a lonely existence’.
His form teacher, Mr Smith, also took gym lessons. Virgil says that even though he knew nothing about sex, he quickly got the feeling that Mr Smith ‘was weird … he would be exceptionally nice to some kids … others he absolutely detested’.
During his first year at the school, he was in a gym lesson and needed to use the lavatory. The nearest ones were located in an out-of-the-way corridor. While he was in there, Mr Smith came in, grabbed him, pushed him into a stall and raped him.
He remembers that it lasted a few minutes. He finds it hard to describe but remembers his shock and pain. He returned to the class in tears, and went home later. He says ‘I never said anything to anyone at that time, because I didn’t know what had happened’.
Virgil became more and more reclusive. When he returned to school after the next holiday, the principal sent for him. He said he understood Virgil had ‘had a problem with Mr Smith’, and then immediately followed up this remark by telling Virgil that nothing had happened.
He soon realised that Mr Smith was no longer at the school. He was later told that children of a senior clergyman in the cathedral had had some sort of encounter with Mr Smith, and also that the teacher had been arrested in connection with a sexual offence in a public place, and had been sent to prison.
Virgil stayed at the school until his mid-teens. As he grew older he began to understand the nature of the abuse that had taken place. He says the fact that the school tried to ‘hush it up’ still appalls him.
Many years later, Virgil told his wife that he had been abused, and he decided to write to the cathedral, asking for an apology. He received a letter outlining current safeguarding protocols, and saying that all the people concerned were deceased.
Virgil’s education was adversely affected after he was abused. He became reclusive and introverted and feels that he still is. He is aware that he has negative views towards gay people and says he knows this is ‘not good’.
He later had counselling that he says ‘helped me come to terms with it’. He believes that people are more open now, but says that when he was abused ‘you didn’t say boo to anyone in authority. You had to live with this thing, bottled up, and that’s what causes the damage’.
Virgil feels strongly that the church should deal with difficult issues such as abuse, and not be allowed to cover them up. Safeguarding policies should be rigorously applied, and he thinks that if more women were ordained, it would be helpful.
He adds that all people who work with children should be carefully supervised and should never be left alone with children.
Virgil has a supportive wife and has put a lot of energy and effort into his career, which he has greatly enjoyed.