Wallie

Wallie says that counselling helped him to understand it was not his fault he was sexually abused by a doctor.

However, more than 60 years later, news stories about child abuse greatly distress him and he is constantly watching for signs that adults might be abusing children.

Wallie grew up in the 1950s. He describes his mum as naive, and not very loving. His father was away from home a lot, because of his work.

At junior school Wallie was badly bullied, and at the age of seven he was regularly wetting the bed.

A doctor referred him to a child psychologist, Dr Jones.

Wallie has vivid memories of his first appointment. He waited outside the consulting room while his mum spoke to Dr Jones, then she came out and Wallie went in on his own. 

He remembers there were toys and a tin of open biscuits in the room. Dr Jones sat behind a large desk and after a brief conversation with Wallie, told him to undress. The psychologist examined Wallie and fondled his genitals. ‘At seven years of age … I’d gone there for help. I was on my own with him’ says Wallie.

Dr Jones then told Wallie to put his underpants on and made him sit on his lap, where he continued to fondle him. 

Wallie did not stop wetting the bed, and over the following two years he had to go for weekly, then fortnightly appointments with Dr Jones, who sexually abused him on every occasion. ‘It went on week after week after week, every time it was the same … my mother would go in first, come out and I’d go in, until I was nearly 10’ he relates.

He adds that sometimes the doctor made him undress and lie naked on a couch while he sexually abused him.

Wallie felt unable to tell anyone what Dr Jones was doing to him. He knew the psychologist’s behaviour made him feel uncomfortable, but because the abuser was a doctor who was supposed to be helping him, he was very confused.

The abuse has had a significant effect on Wallie’s adult life. Even after he realised he had been sexually abused, he could not bring himself to talk about it for many years. He had a breakdown after there was widespread media coverage of child sexual abuse, and told his wife about the abuse, but has not been able to go into details.

A variety of things can cause Wallie great distress. Reports of child abuse are very upsetting for him and he is careful to try and avoid them. The smell of the same brand of biscuits that Dr Jones gave him is also an emotional trigger for him. 

Wallie is hypervigilant about his children and others. ‘I feel very aware of how men act when they are with children’ he says.

He finds it hard to trust any male medical professionals. ‘I feel much safer with women’ he says. He believes that Dr Jones worked out that his mother was naive during the first appointment, and targeted her son for that reason. ‘Today I know the word “groomed”’ he says. 

Wallie says his current doctor is extremely sympathetic about the abuse he was subjected to. She referred Wallie for counselling, which he says has helped him greatly, particularly by supporting him to understand that the abuse was not his fault. 

He firmly believes that no professional should ever be alone with a child without a chaperone.

Wallie is aware that he can be emotionally triggered by many different things, and that this affects his ability to relax. He says ‘I’ve got to live with it and try to be strong’.