Zanthe says she is determined to keep her children safe ‘so that history does not repeat itself’
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Zanthe grew up in a chaotic household where her parents abused drugs, neglected their children and set no boundaries.
She was sexually abused by dozens of men as a young teenager, but did not realise it was abuse until she was an adult.
Zanthe says her father was in and out of prison, her mother was often drunk and they did not care for Zanthe and her siblings.
She vividly remembers, when she was about five years old, seeing indecent images in an adult magazine that had been left lying around. At the age of 10, she was allowed to babysit overnight at a family friend’s house. She recalls waking up on the sofa and seeing a relative of the family with his pants off and his penis out.
By the time Zanthe was 13, she and her friends were associating with a group of Asian men in their 30s and 40s. These men were taxi drivers and would take the girls out in cars and buy them things.
Zanthe thinks she was raped by about 40 of them over two years, up to when she was 15. She says that at the time she felt ‘it was my choice’, because she felt that she was not being forced. She knows that some of the other young girls had babies with the men and considered them as boyfriends.
It was only when she watched a television drama based on a true story of grooming and sexual abuse that Zanthe realised that what these older men had done to her ‘was not right’.
During the time she was being abused, Zanthe stopped attending school. She knows the school called her mother, who would try to make her go, but she never did. This was not investigated by the school and social services were not involved with the family.
The abuse by the taxi drivers continued until Zanthe met her first boyfriend when she was 15.
As an adult, Zanthe says she ‘has a lot of issues’ with men and simply does not trust them.
She experiences poor mental health, she says her moods fluctuate and she sometimes feels angry.
She is very aware that her difficulties affect her children and she has actively looked for help and support, and goes to parenting classes. She has found these excellent and feels that far more funding is needed to educate parents, children and young people about the risks of abuse and how to keep safe.
Zanthe has also found counselling helpful and believes there should be more support services for victims and survivors of grooming.
She has noticed that grooming is talked about more and she hopes this continues to raise awareness of the issue, although she adds ‘It’s probably still going on’.
She has a supportive partner and they are now married.