Zoey says ‘You were told no one cared about you … you had no voice’
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Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
A family crisis disrupted Zoey’s happy childhood and she was placed in care.
A social worker sexually abused her and told her no one would believe her if she reported him.
Zoey grew up in the countryside in the 1970s. She says that up until she was about 11 years old, she had an ‘ideal childhood’ and loved her home.
However, her life changed when an older relative moved in with Zoey’s family. It was supposed to be a temporary arrangement, but became permanent. The relative had depression and spent time in a psychiatric institution.
When she was with the family, she needed a lot of attention from Zoey’s parents, which caused tension and arguments.
Zoey describes feeling ‘overwhelmed’ by the disruption to her family life. She could no longer invite friends to her house and she started refusing to go to school. When she was 14, she was allocated a social worker, Steve.
She describes how she would stay out all day in the countryside and says she was ‘out of control’.
Zoey comments that back then, no one talked openly about things. Her parents were having difficulties but everyone ‘had to get on with it’. No one asked why she was not attending school. After a while, she was referred to a unit for ‘maladjusted children’ and stayed there during the week, returning home at weekends.
On one occasion when Zoey was at home, Steve arrived with two more social workers, and took her to a children’s home. It was completely unexpected. Zoey says she was given the choice of agreeing and being allowed to pack a bag, or going in the clothes she was wearing. ‘I felt like a criminal’ she recalls.
Zoey was still allowed to go home at weekends, and Steve offered to drive her back to the children’s home on Monday morning, to give her more time with her parents.
‘That’s when the abuse started’ she says. ‘I remember it distinctly … I remember his car and him commenting on how nice I looked’. He touched her leg and then pulled into a quiet layby. Zoey screamed as he started touching her. He stopped, but then told her ‘in a matter of fact way’ that there was no point in her telling anyone, because no one would believe her.
Life in the children’s home was harsh and the staff were very strict. Zoey says ‘You were told no one cared about you … you had no voice’.
Some of the children were given medication; she was given tablets that she pretended to take, but didn’t swallow them.
When she reached the age of 16, she left the home. She had no qualifications and had no support. She got a job and got married because she wanted to be ‘normal’, but the marriage did not last.
Zoey says that for a long time, she did not realise how much her childhood has affected her. She says she could not make friends, because she didn’t want people in her small community to know what was happening in her life.
She still has feelings of anger and shame about her past, and still does not want anyone to know about it. She has tried to access her social care records, but was told they are not available. A few years ago, she reported the sexual abuse by the social worker to the police, but there was no investigation.
Zoey suggests that if children are troubled at school, home tuition or learning in small groups should be a possible option. She would like to see better support for children leaving care.
Zoey now works with vulnerable young people. ‘I know I’m good at my job’ she says.